Successful Playdates

My neighbor’s toddler just left after a playdate at my house. It didn’t go as well as I’d hoped. The house is a mess, the kids were fighting over the toys, and I’m so exhausted I’m ready for a nap. Do you have any advice on how to make future playdates easier?

There's definitely an art to making a playdate work out well for all concerned. (Hint: If you are totally haggard when your playdate invitees pull out of the driveway, it may not have been a total success!) Here are the key points to keep in mind when you're planning a playdate between your child and one or more of her friends.

1. Choose your time of day with care.

   Young children tend to be at their best first thing in the morning when they're well-rested. Having an afternoon playdate can be risky business because it may mean that some of the youngest children will miss out on a much-needed nap -- not exactly the best way to guarantee playdate success!

2. Move your child's favorite toys from the family room to his bedroom before the guests arrive so that he won't have to share -- or fight over -- most prized possessions.

   Encourage the children who are visiting to bring along a toy to share (ideally a duplicate of a toy that the children have found particularly difficult to share in the past). That way, the "host kid" won't be the only one who has to share his toys. When you're planning activities for the playdate, be sure to include some neutral activities that don't involve the sharing of toys: e.g. playing with play dough, chasing bubbles or doing crafts together as a group.

3. Be sure to supervise the children closely, particularly if the children are still very young.

   It's unrealistic -- even dangerous -- to leave two toddlers unsupervised during a playdate. So make sure that the area where the moms congregate for coffee will allow for proper supervision and that you don't all become so caught up in the conversation that you fail to notice that one of the toddlers has gone AWOL.

4. Come up with creative solutions for dealing with the inevitable tug-of-war over a toy.

   A kitchen timer can work wonders: even very young children will quickly learn that the tell-tale "ding" means that it's time to hand over the toy.

5. Give your child a five-minute warning before it's time to go home.

   The way, he'll have a chance to get used to the idea that the fun is winding down before it's time to put his coat on and leave.

I hope these suggestions are helpful! Now let the playdate begin...