So your friend has just had a baby. This is your chance to shine as a friend -- to show your love in countless ways. Here are some ideas to get you thinking.
- Do some batch cooking for your friend's freezer.
Label each entrée and include a copy of the recipe in case she wants to replicate some of your culinary creations down the road. Better yet, get a group of your mutual friends together and do this as a group. The more friends, the more fun -- and the more entrées.
- Gather up a bunch of menus from healthy take-out restaurants in the area (ideally ones that deliver, too).
Treat your friend to a gift certificate from your favorite one.
- Offer to serve the family "breakfast in bed" one weekend morning.
Show up at the agreed-upon hour with a picnic basket full of freshly baked muffins, homemade fruit salad, coffee in a thermos (decaf or regular, depending on their preference), and other delicious breakfast fare. If the family is sleeping in because baby has given them a welcome sleep reprieve, let yourself in and leave the picnic basket in the hall outside the bedroom. They'll find it when they're ready to start their day.
- Give a first-time mom an index card box full of great advice.
Ask a bunch of her friends to contribute their best tips in a variety of different categories that will apply to her life as a new mom (e.g., sleep, feeding, and baby-soothing). Include lots of extra index cards and dividers so that she can continue to add her own tips over time.
- Get the lowdown on the best Internet destinations for each stage of motherhood.
Then add them to the bookmarks section of your friend's browser.
- Find out where and when the moms in her neighborhood get together.
Is there a Friday morning playgroup at someone's house or does everyone converge on the local coffee shop?
- Remind your friend perfection is not a prerequisite for motherhood.
That kind of thinking went out with gelatin salads. Reinforce the message by passing along a humorous book about motherhood. (You can't have enough of those kinds of books.)
- Plan a "mom shower" for about a month after the baby's birth.
Where is it written that the baby should get all the gifts? Some possible "mom shower" themes? Home spa, healthy treats, fun reads, and pure indulgence.
- Offer to play social secretary
Set up a steady -- but not overwhelming -- stream of visitors for the first few weeks after baby's arrival.
- Toss in a load of laundry each time you walk through the front door
And fold the load of clothes that comes out of the dryer at the same time.
- Call your friend whenever you're heading over for a visit to see if there's anything she needs while you're out.
- Bring your friend a basket that's overflowing with yummy and healthy munchies
Fresh fruit, dried fruit, bottled water, herbal tea, low-fat cheese, whole-grain crackers, and other delectable choices.
- Offer to take care of her older children.
That way, she can take care of the baby -- and possibly catch up on her sleep -- while the big kids can enjoy an outing with you.
- Be her Girl Friday.
Return those overdue library books. Take the dog for a walk. Pick up a quart of milk at the corner store.
- Think of other things you can do to make her life easier.
Does she need help addressing her baby gift thank-you cards? What could else could you do to make a huge difference in her postbaby universe?
- Rent some movies so your friend can enjoy some in-house entertainment with baby.
If you want to stick to babies as the theme, the cult classic Raising Arizona is a must.
- Think wash-and-wear.
You'll be doing your friend a tremendous favour if you steer clear of cutesy and ironable and gravitate toward practical and washable when you're picking out baby gifts for the new arrival.
- Don't forget about mothering the mother
A tried-and-true tradition in many cultures. If mother-adrenaline has your friend spinning like a top, try to convince her to take a warm bath and catch up on her sleep. She needs to conserve her energy. Motherhood is a marathon, not a sprint event.
- Remind her that motherhood is a team sport.
At her baby shower, get everyone to fill out coupons offering a specific type of help to the mother and baby. That way, the mom won't be quite so reluctant to call in favours. She'll simply be "cashing in coupons."
- Help her to feel that she is part of a chain of women that spans from generation to generation.
This is her time to receive. She will have plenty of time to give. For now she should just relax and accept the love and gifts from other women. That will be your greatest gift to your friend.
