Well, my husband and I decided to start this journey on our vacation in St. Lucia. We decied we've been married a year how about trying without really "trying". No monitors or charts, just plain old fashioned try and wait. Well, when we got back I had a gleam of hope that I might possibly be! Then a day later, BOOM!, in comes the dreaded period. Since my hopes were elevated I officially caught the baby fever! Now, I'm like a mad women looking at my cycle and temperatures, reading reviews, stories, and books. Today I finally broke down and bought a fertitility monitor. Got it on eBay brand new for $80.00. Since I saved $120.00 from not buying it in the store I justified the baby making splurge. I read countless reviews of women who got pregnany within like 3 cycles of using the product, so I am keeping my fingers crossed. It should be here in a few days, until then I will trudge through the period and keep my charts! So much for trying without trying! :)

I want to take a few minutes to blog about how Lorelai came to finally be with Joe and I as it was a bit of heartbreaking trial and error before she made it. The reason I want to share this is because it does not seem to be discussed much until after it happens and then you realize it is quite common and you are not alone. I am happy to take any comments or questions on this but I mostly want other mothers to know that they are not alone.

Joe and I decided we were ready to start a family about 2 years ago. We got pregnant right out of the gate. In fact, I took 4 pregnancy tests before I shared the news with him because I could not believe it would happen so quickly. We were both over the moon with excitement. Everything was going well, I felt great but more tired than normal, and I was watching what I was eating and taking my prenatal supplements. I scheduled my first visit with the midwife for 8 weeks (we are doing natural birth at The Birth Center) but 2 weeks before my visit I started spotting. We ended up having a miscarriage at 6 weeks. I passed everything naturally and took a few months to let my body and my heart recover from the loss. During that time I had a number of people share stories with me about how they had an early miscarriage with their first pregnancy or they shared a friends experience. I learned the statistics on early miscarriage and was surprised to find out how common it was - 24% of first pregnancies end in miscarriage.

When we felt like we were ready we tried again. Lo and behold, we got pregnant the 2nd month trying. Once again I felt great and everything seemed to be going well. I made it to my first visit with the midwife at 8 weeks and everything seemed to be on track. About a week after that I started spotting again. Because of my previous experience the midwife sent me to have an ultrasound. The results came back that the baby had stopped growing at about 6 weeks. I said I was at 9 weeks though, how come it took so long? The answer was that sometimes it takes your body some time to register and start passing everything along. Because it had already been 3 weeks I decided to go see an OBGYN about a DNC in case I didn't start to pass everything soon. The asked the OB if I should seek help to find out what was going on but he told me that they recommend people wait for 4+ miscarriages before they see fertility specialists. I also heard from a number of people how common it was to have multiple miscarriages before getting a successful pregnancy. Who knew? It was all so heartbreaking and confusing.

Joe and I decided we didn't want to go through all of that 2 or more times, we didn't think our hearts could bear it. Some friends of our recommended the fertility experts at Reproductive Science Institute so we made an appointment. The doctors and nurses there were so amazing. The took about 1/2 the blood in my body and some from Joe and started running tests. They told us that quite often they do not find anything wrong with either parent but sometimes just the peace of mind you get with all of the special attention is enough to make the pregnancy successful. Just going there made us immediately feel better.

The tests came back with some interesting results. Everything looked fine for Joe but I had a genetic anomaly where my body could not produce enough folate, even though I was eating my leafy greens and taking my prenatals. They put me on a B-vitamin/folate supplement called Folplex. What the doctor explained to me is that this has not been a proven cause of multiple miscarriages but they have seen it in women who have had them. I told them give me the prescription so that I could start taking them immediately. We had some hope and it was not something that standard tests would have detected.

We started trying again and 2 months later we were successful. We stayed with RSI for the next 10 weeks and they monitored me closely during that time. I went in every 2 weeks for ultrasounds and it was so amazing to see the baby grow. The first ultrasound at 6 weeks looked like a little cotton ball. When I went back at 8 weeks the cotton ball looked like a lima bean and it had a heartbeat and at 10 weeks I had a baby with an umbilical cord.

I share all of this because I want others to know that there are options. Most cities have fertility experts and most insurance plans will cover it. If you do find yourself going through a similar experience speak with your doctor immediately and see what your options are. I know that my case was not as severe as a lot of other mothers out there but the the meaning is the same, you don't have to suffer all of that heartbreak until you have your full story.

We are now expecting our little miracle any day and I cannot express the joy and gratitude that we feel.